Decisions & Revisions

There are only two things I can think of that we don't choose to do-breathing and the beating of our hearts-these are automatic functions.Indeed the rest of our bodily functions are automatic too but we make hundreds of decisions every day from when we wake up in the morning until we go to bed at night. There are two kinds of decisions that we make on a daily basis:

• automatic decisions from habit which we are not aware of.
• decisions that we make consciously.

There are also the decisions that we make now and again which are life-changing-the big decisions.

This hub will explore the issue of making decisions on impulse and how to avoid this. It will also outline the impact our decisions have on our daily lives which can be positive or negative depending on the frame of mind we are in at the time.

Indecision is a symptom of cluttered thinking and it can be very uncomfortable. Indeed it can lead to chronic high levels of stress which is detrimental to our physical and mental health.There are three reasons our thinking becomes cluttered:

1. Being controlled by our emotions instead of us being in control of our emotions.

Getting the balance right on this one is a skill we can learn but it takes time to do so. The best way to start is to do something that will take your mind off things-visiting a friend for example and NOT talking about your problem. A solution will come to you if you give your mind a rest about it by doing this.In my experience this works every time.

2. Avoid talking to too many people and getting too many opinions on the same thing.

As per the first point above choose one person that you trust to talk to;two people at most. This needs to be someone whose opinion you value and it is even better if it is someone who has had a similar problem to you that they have resolved.

3. Avoid pondering and ruminating too much on a problem.

As per the above two points going over things too much in your mind is the hallmark of cluttered thinking which has a negative impact on your decision making. Stopping this is a learned skill which is well worth cultivating.

Practicing the guidelines above will help you maintain clear thinking patterns which will assist in the everyday business of living as well as problem-solving. Another very important point to make here is that cluttered thinking inhibits our instinct. A clear head for decision making helps us to follow our instinct while making a balanced choice or decision in the context of our circumstances.

The decisions we make aren't written in stone. Our decisions are subject to revision in the context of changing circumstances. In this context, it is better to go with the flow and change our minds rather than be rigid and stubborn. The three strategies above can be used in a "rinse and repeat" fashion for maximum effectiveness. Do not fear change or changing your mind.

Finally,let me illustrate the nature of decisions and revisions with an example from my own experience.

Sometimes my emotions used to control me instead of me controlling them. I did the opposite of the strategies outlined above before I learned a better way. Here is an example of how I deal with conflict or arguments now.

• I decide not to answer back-I won't win the argument anyway and reinforcing the argument with an answer only prolongs it.

• I decide to change the subject. This diffuses the argument immediately sometimes.

• I decide to laugh. This is very effective if someone is being deliberately hurtful.

So that's it for now.

This is the first hub in a series of three.The title of the next hub is "The Importance of Saying No". The title of the third hub is "Mindfulness Made Simple"